quiet afternoon

sigh. i just got back from lunch.

it’s been sooo long since i ate alone outside :(

it’s probably inferiority complex but i still can’t embrace it. it’s far too… lonely :(

 

i don’t know what possessed me to do it but i guess it can accounted for by my raging fever. how did i know i had a fever? ironically, although i’m studying bio stuff but i can’t even detect that i have fallen ill. goddamn stupid.

someone remarked that i was hot yesterday. okay, i would really like it if it meant what i hope it meant LOL. they meant my body was hot. … goddamn this is getting nowhere.

funny but the symptoms of it that i’m feeling right now has been running for about a few weeks already WTF.

so, it probably meant i’m having an on & off fever for a few weeks but i’m so dense that i’m not getting it. goddamn receiver rosak :(

 

and now, you’ll probably be wondering why was i having nasi paprik in a mamak store within my condo grounds while i’m blissfully enjoying the effects of my raging fever. the reason is… aiya, i don’t know also. i guess i was too dizzy to entrust myself with the noble mission to walk a distance to have a healthier meal. but then again, who am i kidding? healthier meal? here? nah.

all i wanted was a quiet lazy afternoon with a warm meal down my oil barrel stomach. i initially wanted to eat in my room but i thought some fresh air would do me some good. and again.. who am i kidding?

when i walked towards the store, all i saw was two condo guards eating. i sat down, ordered and then suddenly half a dozen people came in and speak a mixture of gibberish, mandarin, malay & tamil.

thank my lucky stars.

i took out my iphone (no other better invention at that moment) and started playing the shark game, where the player is a shark and you get the gobble up fishes & PEOPLE.

god, i love it.

 

fast forward to the time where i was gorging myself of food. more guys who suspiciously seemed to be from utar. nah, erase that. they ARE definitely from utar. some people ooze utar style, i’m unfortunately serious. i am no doubt one of them HAHAHA. the classic backpack and nerdy glasses, uncombed hair, big t-shirt, slippers, old shorts.

they talked incessantly, looked over at me with my awfully huge plate of rice that stared at me accusingly when i couldn’t finish it.

then, as if i thought the worst part of eating alone has already happened, someone yelled my name in a unique way that i could not ignore and instantly knew who it was.

in my state, throbbing head, unkempt hair all over my face, unfinished plate of rice accusingly staring at me while all the while projecting images of african kids through my mind, the curious group of guys in front and me thinking how dead i would be tomorrow at this time…

i waved and smiled like an idiot.

 

HA HA HA.

 

and so, that proudly draws an ending to my quiet afternoon lunch.

okay, back to the plate of rice. i left like 3 mouthfuls. seriously stuffed. normally, i could finished EVERYTHING.

doesn’t matter if you believe it or not, just look at my oil barrel of a tummy when you see me next time.

 

stuff i wrote yesterday but didn’t post it up:

 

the truth remains that we are in no position to judge love relationships. it might seemed crystal clear to the world but there are sure to be certain things that eludes the most observant of minds.

lately, i’ve been shamefully something i largely despised not long ago – a stalker. LOL. i delight myself with the obvious spark between two certain people i don’t even know. well, at least i am just an internet one. such stalkers are quite common actually *consoles self*

their bliss momentarily allow me to run away from assignments, reports and tests for awhile :P

 

i think the reason why they appeal so much to me out of so many relationships is that… theirs seemed to have came out of a damn blissful teenage drama.

like it or not, most of us have a certain love-hate relationship with teenage dramas :/

we would love to be the characters in it at some point of our lives, whether it was a passed infatuation of the mind or not.

but these people, they are true characters in this world and down-to-earth. & goddamn diabetes-sweet to each other HAHAHA. it’s like watching romeo-juliet love story unfold in front of your eyes (ok, not exactly, cuz you cant really see it online wtf)

aih, the point is they made me an internet stalker. not my fault. really. ask god D:

 

HAHAHA ironically, after i finished writing, one of them has switched their profile to private. ah well, my 3 days of creepy stalking & the airing of love story officially ends here :( … however, i am strangely relieved.. probably because i will no longer think of myself as a stalker WTF :O

 

next, i would like to say something about my recent less activeness on facebook.

the thing is, i find some sense in what eanjee said. it’s a little like telling the world the slightest feeling you have now. like, i’m hungry. so? GO EAT LAH. not like i could facebook chat you a cheesecake or something. however, i shall plainly admit that i too, have committed this silly mistake.

and also, i realized that some of the time, all i get after reading facebook stuff is pangs of unspeakable horror, disappointment, sadness and more horror.

i.e  twisted words.

i don’t wish to voice it out, can’t voice it out, wouldn’t voice it out.

 

some stuff is better left alone. i don’t wish to like anything, comment about anything. let it go with the flow. i’ll take the back seat :)

as long as i know the truth, i think i’ll carry the burden alone.

 

i guess one of the significant changes in me is that i no longer vomit verbal diarrhoea on people who might have asked for it or who haven’t or who just probed me gently about what has been bothering me to result in such a sulky face. i learned that i shouldn’t torture people with my own childish thoughts.

people do not like it, and i would not like the consequences as well. so, why throw myself in the middle of a busy highway road?

 

ah well, but i shall predict this phase will run out of gas soon. i’ll probably be back on facebook typing more silly stuff or… i might just deactivate it :/ well, the future would tell.

 

 

 

lastly, i would like to say, FUCK OFF to someone.

i shall tell of a little scenario. i hope these fuckers read this.

 

one day, a guy, B added me on facebook. like most people, they typically add the people i’m always with too. one day, A & i were talking about someone, which leads to a misunderstanding on my side. i thought A was referring to this guy, B who has a unique facebook picture. but A wasn’t talking about him.

to clarify who i was referring to, A showed me B’s profile on fb. and i said yes.

fate has a way of telling us it exists.

B wrote a status about getting attracted to a certain type of girls who has a distinctive type of feature. haunted by curiosity, both of us read it without even telling each other to do so.

the contents left us with horror at certain JUNIORS (i’m spitting this word out bdw).

take for example that you are fat.

they would say something like OMFG, can she get any fatter? her fats like gonna leak out anytime, man! like, if i see her, i would like to cut out all her fats. my friend once told me to walk up to her and say “miss, your fats have dropped all over the place, this is the cork, please don’t leak it out again”.

take for example that you have a lot of pimples.

they would say something like, FUCK so many pimples! if i see her, i would like to cut off her face lor. so ugly! see also want vomit. like ghost leh.

 

please, have you looked at mirror like say… in the past year? goddamn. like your girlfriend is anything above average or at least, better than the girls you condemned so harshly with your uneducated words.

 

scratch that, i don’t think i should say anything about your girlfriend when she has a dick of a boyfriend to put up with. i sympathize greatly with her.

now, back to you. go get plastic surgery, fuckface.

 

 

of course, i wouldn’t be such a bitch if he wasn’t talking bout one of my friends.

 

fuckface seemingly is a Y1S2 chemical engineering student.

trying to look cool by putting down others who are better, earns you a degree in fuckface. why still bother?

 

oh and B seemed to have entirely forgotten that he added all of us on facebook, but yet, he remarked that we won’t see this status as he didn’t add us.

oh and they were wondering about the reaction the girl they were referring to, would have IF she reads it.

but of course, she won’t right. B says he didn’t add her.

right. great memory, B.

cheers.