Monday, April 2, 2012


LOL i know this is long overdue.... but better late than never i guess

BLOG changed to

Monday, February 20, 2012

Perplexity of life

I guess one of the most torturous matter in life is that
you had your golden chance and you knew perfectly that it was the door you've been waiting for
but you could not have been more incapable at that crucial moment
in light of certain unforeseen matters and carelessness.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Santa Baby


Perhaps I really should grow out of this pose, seeing how many ugly pictures it blessed me with LOL but unfortunately, the only expression with “life” my very amateur brain can think of right now.

I am so bored.


*trying hard to find topic* AND DOESN’T MY HAIR SHINE? God I totally love it after I got it done. That’s probably the only part of myself that I couldn’t wail at in those 3 days of work LOL. But now, it’s back to crap.

Anyway, I’m so bored these days that I wanna get those fancy hair tying stuff that produces fancy hairstyles at a blink hmmmmm… Or probably curl my hair! …. Just kidding.


Another thing, I have no idea why it irritates me so much these days when people say the OBVIOUS exact opposite of what they are doing/thinking.

It’s like slapping me across the face when you clutch a bag with RM500 worth of La Senza’s lingerie & declare you actually despise the brand & you would much prefer Xixili or something.

Okay, that is one lame example. Hmmm, how about like if a girl has full makeup on 24/7 & she complains to you that girls with thick makeup damn pretentious & demands why are they like that & thinks she’s wayyyy above them ._.

For the record, La Senza is still the best :P & the other day, I can’t believe my bff & I squealed & ran inside the store just to have a feel of the santarina collection LOL such perverts tsk tsk.


I’m in such a Christmas mood right now.

Santa Baby is playing in my head as I type ._.


Christmas at Pavilion :)


Another thing making me emo is my Christmas present, which I can’t get it till Chinese New Year :( It’s not really a Christmas present but what the hell, I’m totally treating it as one. No one gets a better santa than I do. I love my family. I feel very spoiled sometimes >.<


This video cracks me up :P Like I said, “Be good, boys… Seriously, be good!” XD

Sunday, December 11, 2011



Hello, I seriously have to stop neglecting this (increasingly dusty) part of my life here lol

A whole lot has happened since I last… promised to blog, heh :P

The long & short of it is that I finally begun working, which is about time as well, seeing how fast my bank account is emptied every single month. =.=

On the other hand, working freelance has not made me any richer, in fact, I might just very well have became poorer. FACT FACT. Well you see, with income, I spend more, which is… a whole lot more in a crazy out-of-control state so……. you get it, sigh.



Hehe me being hiao (& bored) with the 8-year old wallet that I used for 6 years. =.= I wish I was kidding.


This is half of my shopping pride & glory in less than a month. *NEW WALLET from topshop warehouse YAY!

A whole lot of makeup because working needs makeup, that’s one of the very important stuff I have learned working. The rest being:








*WAILS :’(



If you somehow decide to tell me that I am putting myself down,


This is a great example of how I look like shit.

Even my boyfriend could not say something nice about it. so yeah. *smashes head on wall*

The worse thing is that I also believe I have another pic of equal value somewhere.

Note: This is completely face problem not photographer’s problem. In fact, I heard he’s one of the best photographers in Utar.



FAT ARMS!!!!!…. This is when my supervisor asked us to harass the IT guy in the same company & gleefully took a picture.

As you can see here, I am the most dangerous predator. =.=

And yes, his face was red LOL GOD I SWEAR I DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG.


Nicer… pictures because other people are in it LOL




ok that about sums it up.

During my last job as show girl at Malaysian International Game Show  / Teen Fest 2011, the day before the first day of work, I was down with the fever. On the first day of work, I have stomach cramps, my feet hurts like fuck (super high heels does shit to the untrained elephant legs) + the best thing ever is MY FUCKING CONTACT LENS IS SHITTY!

I opened a new pair of contacts lens as the old pair is already torn. HOW WAS I TO KNOW THIS SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME?? FML la seriously. I rather have worse stomach cramps & more painful feet than PAINFUL EYES. Plus, I had to be rushed to the 24hr clinic after work as my right eye was tearing up uncontrollably.

Nevertheless, since I was tied up with work for the 3-day job, I had to continue wearing the faulty pair of contact lens.

I hate how shit happens to me during important days.


On a much happier note, I bought half a dozen new clothes in the name of Chinese New Year (but as I type this down, as much as I want to believe myself, I highly doubt their virginity would be preserved till then)




Ending this post with another picture of me looking like shit.

Please enlighten me with how is it so easy for me to look like shit!

I’m so emo that I wanna sleep forever and forget about how shitty I look & reborn with a beautiful face ._.  (except it’s 7am and I’m not asleep yet = shittier face) Ugly cycle of shit T_T

Wednesday, November 9, 2011




The best thing that happened to me after I turned 20?
Having the stupidest cutest boyfriend in the world. (who totally fails at giving surprises)

plus, buying a cake fit for a 3 year old.

so technically, I have yet to eat a birthday cake this year. HINTSSS
hmmm, I love cheese by the way... you know... just saying.... i mean sharing.

I have the best friends in the world too! you know who you are :P Thank you <3
okay so this is getting lame like a beauty pageant talk sort of thing so i would just say:


and end this post abruptly.
I shall blog more later! (isn't this line oh-so-familiar?)

Monday, October 10, 2011

I believe this is love

He texts me in the afternoon to tell me he just vomited blood.


and then he tells me in agony that his ribs hurt hours later.




I feel like jumping on the next bus to him.

Medical check-up is scheduled tomorrow. Please be alright, I love you so.

Saturday, August 27, 2011


As we grow up, I guess it is inevitable that many of our more naïve perceptions changes with time.

Do you remember the younger uglier versions of us sitting back in our high school classroom constantly discussing about our future, exploring endless (then) possibilities of career choices and envisioning about our future partners. And many more rebellious acts like fighting with our parents, doing forbidden stuff, challenge the line that separates us from getting into trouble with law enforcements.

I used to think some things would never happen to me, to people around me, to my comfort circle of people. They seemed so far away, so indistinctive, so implausible. But yet so near & so imminent now.

I’m not sure what I’m lamenting right now but it’s just one of those days when such thoughts run through my mind and I have the strangest urge to put it down into words.

It’s not like I have seen much of the world. I have a delicate yet a very unadventurous childhood, which might explained why I had such a hard time fitting in most of the time.

I spent my time learning ballet & the piano (both of which didn’t last long), doing jigsaw puzzles, playing Barbie dolls, doing teatimes with my friends.

When I was 7, I had something that can be likened to a cultural shock when I was taken to my primary school. I couldn’t fit in. I got beaten by my very extremely strict teacher every day.

Enough of my past, I’ve been deviating from my point for quite some time now.

I guess what I really wanted to say is that,

No. Nothing happens the way I envisioned myself to be more than a decade ago. Nothing is really that far away.

Sometimes, I think that I might have lost myself all those years ago back in primary school. That’s the reason why I am still feeling unrefined and directionless despite my upcoming 21st birthday.

Maybe I’m just feeling a teeny weeny bit depressed because of that stupid yearly thing that should mean less to me… but it means so much more now because it means I’ve been feeling lost and have been sleepwalking for 2.1 decades.

What does it mean? What does it really mean?

I remembered how many of us used to say if we would have a controlling boyfriend, walk away with style! But no, it doesn’t quite happen that way. I read one of a distant friend’s blog where she explores the possibility of a scenario which her husband (also imaginary) had an affair. What would she do? 5 years ago, I would have said fuck that bastard! Get a new one! She did too. What about now? Yes, we could have still done it. Fuck that heart that is still beating for him. Heartbroken? Yes, but we would still have lived. However, what if… what if you had a child with him? Would that still be that easy? Guess not. It makes it harder and worse (or better and easier, depends how you looked at it) if he came back on his knees begging for forgiveness. Could you find it in yourself despite all the anger and anguish to forgive your child’s father but also the cheap man slut?

There isn’t a definite and distinctive answer to that. It depends on you. However, the choices you decided to make? Make sure you could live with them throughout your life.

P.s Nothing of this magnitude has happened to me. My boyfriend is still faithful (I hope LOL) and I'm not depressed! Like I said, just a train of random thoughts, people.