frustrated

je suis tulan.

 

P.s i know this is somehow really bad timing to say this but anyway, i am super impressed that there is a journalism site in utar, kampar.

 

http://j-on-news.blogspot.com/

 

some of you might know that if i realized it earlier, i might be studying journalism right now.

 

 

yeah yeah, what a great opening of a post, but what the hell i like to keep things interesting. & anyway, the title was supposed to be “je suis tulan” which means i am tulan. but i’m cowardly and am now shivering in fear that my post will be on top of the updated list in some blogs, namely seen’s and french teacher would somehow stumble upon it and torture me next saturday.

 

i have no inkling where to start expressing my tulan-ness. so i’ll just start… anywhere.

 

im totally tulan at myself. and i know tulan is a very strong and vulgar word for a girl and judgemental people or others probably can’t stand and would totally feel goddamn tulan at me for not fitting into their idealistic world where girls curtsy like 12,000 times per day and be sickeningly sweet all the time but FUCK IT OK! please lah, at least i would say TULAN when i feel TULAN. instead of acting totally sweet and stabbing you when you are at your lowest point.

 

the thing about me which would totally bring me down one day (if not already) is that i cannot control my tulan-ness at certain people if they decide to switch on my psycho button of tulan-ness. if i’m tulan, you can definitely sense i’m tulan because i’m really tulan at you. i do not act, i do not try to hide it. anyway, sometimes it’s not you i’m tulan at also, it’s me or… the weather or something wtf.

 

i’m in a very foul temper lately. i don’t know lah, maybe i have godlike serious PMS or something. i realized i keep getting tulan at the slightest things and i really cannot hide my tulan-ness. i am tulan at my housemate for throwing a steamboat party after my exhausting structural biochemistry test (with details in the post before) and hogging the bathroom after that when i wanted to shower and finish up my structural biochemistry report due the next day. i am also very tulan at her for deciding to wash ALL her dirty underwear on that particular time. WHO FUCKING WASHES UNDERWEAR AT 1125PM!??! are you that desperate to wash underwear? is there an urgent need like say.. you ran out of underwear and you need one set in the next few hours?

goddamn, i know i am such a tulan to the max person now.

 

and also, lately, i cannot stand people who SOMEHOW OR OTHER DECIDES TO CUT ME SHORT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE and you know what is even more fucking IRONIC? you fucking despise people for it too. damn tulan.

also, im using tulan many times now probably because my french teacher keep saying tulan every saturday and it probably caught on to me – yes, i mean the tulan fever. and he calls me “ving wang wang” today which means >>> @.@

 

tulan that i have a bunch of assignments, midterm tests, reports, lab tests etc.

im also very tulan that i did a very bad structural biochemistry report the other day.

aiya, in short, i am so fucking tulan these days that a handful of people have witnessed first hand my super tulan-at-you face already. i apologize for it.

i’m probably as tulan as andrew during the first few french classes.

 

and goddamn no lor, i am not emo. i am not angry, i am just goddamn tulan. if you were to say i’m emo, i will be totally tulan at you. yes, really.

 

actually, i’m just feeling really frustrated at myself that i get tulan easily. it’s like frustrated >> tulan >> frustrated >> tulan. i call it the frustrated-tulan cycle. and no, please do not ask if i’m okay. if i’m not, you probably do not have a magical wand you could tap gracefully on my head to clear my tulan-ness anyway, so i’ll just deal with it over a bar of chocolate or something.

 

and it would get a little awkward (not to mention supremely funny) if say…

president bush updated his status on facebook:

 

DAMN HATE U! WHY U BOMB MY COUNTRY LEH, U ASSHOLE!

 

 

 

osama then decides to be super godlike hiao and reply on facebook:

 

omg bush, are you okay? :( who bombed your country? so bad! :( u can talk to me on msn anytime you wan ok? hugs <3

 

 

 

 

damn tulan.