frustrated

je suis tulan.

 

P.s i know this is somehow really bad timing to say this but anyway, i am super impressed that there is a journalism site in utar, kampar.

 

http://j-on-news.blogspot.com/

 

some of you might know that if i realized it earlier, i might be studying journalism right now.

 

 

yeah yeah, what a great opening of a post, but what the hell i like to keep things interesting. & anyway, the title was supposed to be “je suis tulan” which means i am tulan. but i’m cowardly and am now shivering in fear that my post will be on top of the updated list in some blogs, namely seen’s and french teacher would somehow stumble upon it and torture me next saturday.

 

i have no inkling where to start expressing my tulan-ness. so i’ll just start… anywhere.

 

im totally tulan at myself. and i know tulan is a very strong and vulgar word for a girl and judgemental people or others probably can’t stand and would totally feel goddamn tulan at me for not fitting into their idealistic world where girls curtsy like 12,000 times per day and be sickeningly sweet all the time but FUCK IT OK! please lah, at least i would say TULAN when i feel TULAN. instead of acting totally sweet and stabbing you when you are at your lowest point.

 

the thing about me which would totally bring me down one day (if not already) is that i cannot control my tulan-ness at certain people if they decide to switch on my psycho button of tulan-ness. if i’m tulan, you can definitely sense i’m tulan because i’m really tulan at you. i do not act, i do not try to hide it. anyway, sometimes it’s not you i’m tulan at also, it’s me or… the weather or something wtf.

 

i’m in a very foul temper lately. i don’t know lah, maybe i have godlike serious PMS or something. i realized i keep getting tulan at the slightest things and i really cannot hide my tulan-ness. i am tulan at my housemate for throwing a steamboat party after my exhausting structural biochemistry test (with details in the post before) and hogging the bathroom after that when i wanted to shower and finish up my structural biochemistry report due the next day. i am also very tulan at her for deciding to wash ALL her dirty underwear on that particular time. WHO FUCKING WASHES UNDERWEAR AT 1125PM!??! are you that desperate to wash underwear? is there an urgent need like say.. you ran out of underwear and you need one set in the next few hours?

goddamn, i know i am such a tulan to the max person now.

 

and also, lately, i cannot stand people who SOMEHOW OR OTHER DECIDES TO CUT ME SHORT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE and you know what is even more fucking IRONIC? you fucking despise people for it too. damn tulan.

also, im using tulan many times now probably because my french teacher keep saying tulan every saturday and it probably caught on to me – yes, i mean the tulan fever. and he calls me “ving wang wang” today which means >>> @.@

 

tulan that i have a bunch of assignments, midterm tests, reports, lab tests etc.

im also very tulan that i did a very bad structural biochemistry report the other day.

aiya, in short, i am so fucking tulan these days that a handful of people have witnessed first hand my super tulan-at-you face already. i apologize for it.

i’m probably as tulan as andrew during the first few french classes.

 

and goddamn no lor, i am not emo. i am not angry, i am just goddamn tulan. if you were to say i’m emo, i will be totally tulan at you. yes, really.

 

actually, i’m just feeling really frustrated at myself that i get tulan easily. it’s like frustrated >> tulan >> frustrated >> tulan. i call it the frustrated-tulan cycle. and no, please do not ask if i’m okay. if i’m not, you probably do not have a magical wand you could tap gracefully on my head to clear my tulan-ness anyway, so i’ll just deal with it over a bar of chocolate or something.

 

and it would get a little awkward (not to mention supremely funny) if say…

president bush updated his status on facebook:

 

DAMN HATE U! WHY U BOMB MY COUNTRY LEH, U ASSHOLE!

 

 

 

osama then decides to be super godlike hiao and reply on facebook:

 

omg bush, are you okay? :( who bombed your country? so bad! :( u can talk to me on msn anytime you wan ok? hugs <3

 

 

 

 

damn tulan.

goddamnit

goddamnit. wait, need get tissue to wipe my oily hands before i continue to whine like a bitch.

 

… i also have no idea why i could elegantly pull out 4 different shreds of tissue from the tissue box instead of a single complete one but then again, you should not put much of your thoughts in it because that’s just the intro of this post.

now, where was i? oh yes, goddamnit.

 

goddamnit list

1) after going through a night of torture, like seriously super godlike torture, on the scale of 1 to 10 and 10 being the extended godlike level of hell, i rate it 9.6. i started around 12 something AM or so, while the greater part of my class has already (read AND memorized every single detail) to the power of 5. today in lab before the test, this guy of the “greater part of the class” announced rather egoistically, with a full blast of “please pity me” tone that he only managed to study THRICE. GODDAMNIT, YOU %&#$^#^#$^#&$^$*&$^$#%%&#  god, i know right, i am still the same. although, i just have to add that some people told me not to change because i have such an awesome personality *pukes all over. anyway, i kept getting this hunger pangs during the hell session, so i brought out all my food (& some rubbish as yi ru decides to plainly call it). after some time, i got hungry again and this time i am reminded of my delicious chocolate in the fridge. i lunged for it like a starving lion which just saw… a fish. yes, i know, the weird description & all that but the whole point was that i have proudly finished 97% of the my last bar of chocolate. yes, i am crying at the rate of depletion of my chocolate supply. it saddens me more than anything.  i was left like a fish out of water with my measly pitiful supply of 3% of chocolate. i moaned in agony and decided to cut the drama and go straight to the delicious part. goddamn, i sound like some obsessive psycho case. alas, it was too hard for me. so i put it aside and… fell asleep. GODDAMNIT.

i woke up at 9 and… tragically kept back my 3% of  chocolate. then, i somehow miraculously got myself almost lost in KTAR, OF ALL PLACES. you see, i was rather late when i went to the bus stop and while i was cautiously scrutinizing everyone, i realized they exude an aura of KTAR-ness. aiya, do not ask me about the aura, it is not like they have chanel perfume on and we have something else, it’s just the feeling and the attire. meanwhile, i was looked at like the ugly duckling in a pond full of superior ducks. while i was contemplating to make a run for it, the KTAR bus came, i am sure it was fate. normally, the ktar bus would totally dump me somewhere along the ktar road, outside ktar… but noooo, today, the driver probably got lucky with his wife/gf/mistress extensive enough to decide to drive the whole bus in ktar, which i totally panicked a little and had to do some serious geometrical research. i took 16 whole minutes to get from where i was unceremoniously dumped and my lab location. then, i had to feel this sense of nausea because

a) i had not eaten my 3% of chocolate.

b) i had not eaten my 3% of chocolate & i bloody missed it.

c) i had not eaten my 3% of chocolate & i bloody missed it & i was starving.

 

i had to suck it up and finished the experiment… which i somehow due to fate, once again, had the opportunity to hear about how bodies get chopped up in mortuaries and what they go through during post mortem! oh and how their brains got stolen from their head and then substituted by cotton wool and and how bodies are left for decay (and maggots to have a feast on) for days to examine seriously scientific stuff (read: quench the thirst of being psychotic for scientists) how delightful. hahaha! alright, but i’m just kidding. no, not about the aforementioned part but the part where i was nauseous because of it. it didn’t affect me as my puny little brain could not connect the dots anyway.

against all odds, i miraculously reached the cafeteria and stuffed my face, finally felt better. food cures me.

2) during the test, i counted the ratio of the conjugate base to weak acid of 1:10 to the power of 4. i chided myself that i was an idiot and it was absolutely impossible! i gave up, and only wrote half of the equation.

 

 

 

now, i have to kick myself in the shins because it was exactly the answer. GODDAMNIT.

do you have a gun which i can use? i would totally like to kill myself right now. then again, a knife definitely hurts more, hmmm :/ what else?

3) when i crawled back home, after finishing a 1.5 hour paper in one third of the time, i am DELIGHTFULLY surprised by half a dozen people in my condo unit. my ktar housemate decided to have a steamboat party. awesome! totally what i need!

 

… and then more people came… and more… and more… there were like 20 people in the living room and dining corner and the kitchen. when i came out of my sanctuary to get some err, food (read: chocolate), the 20 people stare at me like how they stare at me in the bus stop, but that is totally accountable to the fact that i use chee cheong gai’s perfume and they use chanel. after miraculously making it back to my room without tripping over a piece of fish ball or something of equal stupidity, i thanked god for awhile and finished my chocolate. … then, i craved for the potato chips in the kitchen.

 

but i was too cowardly to go out again so… i cried myself to sleep.

 

4) while i was stuffing myself full of potato chips a few minutes ago, i had this horror thought. what if i look like a fat pork in my swimming suit!!! (which i never worn by the way, because a) i am a fat pork roll b) being a fat pork roll, the skill of swimming eludes me)

 

then again, looking like a fat pork is one thing while not being able to fit into it is another more SERIOUS case.

 

alright, the reason why i am stressing myself out because of such things, (and then stuffing myself full of more junk in the process because i’m too stressed out, it’s a whole goddamn cycle meticulously planned out by the junk food tycoon i am telling you), the 半打XX group + 1 (andrew) are planning to take a vacation together!

but i’m afraid it would be 5 + 1 + a fat pork roll.

 

oh and fat pork roll forgot to ask parents for permission yet. aaahh.

 

 

the end of a meaningless, annoying post w/o any pictures.

now if you excuse me, fat pork roll have to finish off the last few precious pieces of chips and get fat pork roll ass on the report due tomorrow!

 

goddamnit.

 

oh, in addition

5) andrew is eating fruits for a whole week (a miracle) as he claims that he has to fulfil his sworn oath - if MU wins liverpool, he would eat fruits for a week.

so on monday, i chased him from SA block to SD block w/o any shred of 气质 left thankyouverymuch as he decided to rub it in. then i nearly rip his fruity skin to shreds in class too.

 

goddamnit. screw andrew & his fruits!

however, according to sung ching, it sounded REALLY REALLY WRONG.

sungsung.(st) says (12:01 AM):
*man
*that andrew and his fruits part
*you make it sound like some fore play or something

 

=.= i have no such intention.

 

while andrew…

 

(A) *unicef Andrew (6) ~ I have to fulfil the oath I sworn...... One week of fruits for me :D says (3:53 PM):
*come for me fiona
*screw me up
*come

 

GODDAMNIT.

super junior concert 20.03.10 & babysitting woes

one of the scariest picture of all time =.=

 

   

clockwise:

air & bi <3 HAHAHA!

ah man, ah lek, ah geh :D

 

ah geh :(

 

i think i could safely swear that recently, nice pics of me are taken when accidentally WTF. thats why they are always a little blurry. like the one in fb now and this. the one in fb was taken when i accidentally hit the very sensitive iphone touch screen button when i was figuring out how to smile << yes wtf. & this was taken a split second earlier while i was trying to smile while figuring out where the heck is that camera button =.= is this a joke  

 

yay <3 love the tee!

 

 

it says to wave the light thingy during “shining star” song… but qi & i hadn’t even heard of that song so… yeah well, the only time we used it was when…

 

 

 

right after we took this pic, there was a few girls gasping their dainty little ass away while shooting us crazy disgusting stares. like hellooooo, you were damn lucky we didn’t shot you disgusting stares at your cake-like makeup leh!

seriously lar, so what if six girls were showing their middle finger.

LIKE HEY, IT WASN’T EVEN AT YOU GODDAMNIT.

 

__|__

now it’s at you.

fuck off & shut that pig-like mouth of yours.

jeez. uptight bitch.

 

 

 

 

& ah man <3

i have no idea why i looked like a transsexual from thailand… oh well

 

  

T^T so gandong… the best zhap fan i had for ages! vege, egg, chicken drumstick T^T

yes, i lead a pretty pitiful life T^T

 

  

but i wasn’t the only one hungry! :P

 

 

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boring stage pictures =.= which in my defence, i took it when i was bored.

                   

  

i don’t get it!! there were a few girls presumably from sg as qi said, were totally shrieking when we showed them their seats. like heck, super junior was probably still applying their lip-gloss or something. but nooo, they weren’t the slightest bit aware of it.

first, they shriek individually.

then they shriek together by holding hands.

thirdly, they shriek together by holding hands and yelling “omg we got such great seats!”

fourthly, they shriek some super junior member’s names which i don’t know and don’t care.

 

like heck, i’m here for the zhap fan & the tee & the company (not shriek-y girls) oh & some cash x)

 

 

& ah geh <3 (damn lighting always never fail to make my nose looked like a clown’s)

we sneaked down to get a better view =.=

 

 

  

people surrounding the stage are paying an indecent amount to get sprayed in the face by their idols. uh-huh, that’s hot.

 

summore those bunch of girls with blue wigs (blue being some kind of suju official colour) on definitely have tons of makeup on. imagine shrieking girls with mascara dripping about yelling your name obsessively LOL.

 

oooh! alas, something to be excited of! i have a nemo at home too! <3

 

totally do not get what is so hot of a guy playing toys.

plus, what’s with the grinding action between the suju members?

 

and also the “oohh lookie! i am flipping up your shirt! wooo, you got some nice abs, can i touchie? :)” *licks lips*

 

and also the kissing part – MOUTH TO MOUTH

 

and the fans shrieked lovingly.

 

why?

why not! that’s so hot!

 

 

thought of something i watched bout 3 years ago HAHAHA

HAHAHA! TOTALLY GOTTA WATCH!

if you’re totally into this, go search “jaejoong (the “girl”) & yunho (the “guy”) in youtube.

got like 5 eps that makes up a very funny story!

 

- i was into tvxq what.

 

hahaha to be fair, if this was their concert & it was 3 years ago, i would probably be as excited as those sg girls.

HOWEVER, definitely not so shriek-y!

 

 

i would just probably kidnapped yunho ^^

HAHAHA!

(used to like him most)

 

like this!

disturbing hor? x)

 

 

---

some pictures from my poor camera as i forgot to charge it =.=

   

 

back at seen’s home <3 thank you for letting us stay!

 

one of the best things there (besides her nice family who showed us nothing but warmth and care of a model home), is chloe who would camwhore with me HAHAHA!

 

clockwise:

as qi claimed i looked like some “kam yu lou” in the first pic… i took a 2nd

which she claimed that i totally looked like “ham sap lou”

 

sigh.

what’s worse than looking like you’re perverted and a paedophile?

answer: looking like a guy. goddamn.

 

clockwise:

i know right. chloe & i damn matchy-matchy ‘cuz she is a born iphone addict also! x)

qi says i looked like “贤妻良母” HAHAHA!

 

clockwise:

pardon my idiotic look, wouldn’t have posted if chloe wasn’t that cute! T^T

qi said: “give me kiss!” and… she gave this look. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! kam yu lou fail!

 

 

clockwise:

interview session 101: *adjusts glasses* “why, yes, i have taught chloe since she was just a baby”

born gymnasts! *teary eyes*

cute seen <3

 

and then i proceed to help her sharpen her colour pencils and watch her colour for awhile T^T so cute! sigh, studying wrong course lar, i should go be kindergarten teacher… but then again, when we were form 3 or 4, many people including angie & i agreed that i would totally throw kids off 3-storey building if i ever was one. hmmmmmm :/

 

and… i have not felt so much pain since… well, you get my point, much less from a child! qi had her fair share as well T^T … i changed my mind, i think i have too much pain sensory nerves to be a kindergarten teacher T^T

clockwise:

cry, hunched up in pain T^T

chloe: u okay? :(

cryyyy, hug teddy & hunched up in pain T^T

SULK.

 

 

 

summore, cannot not forgive her T^T so cute T^T …

clockwise:

retarded smile of mine, only posted ‘cuz she looked like she adores me alot T^T   T^T   T^T

more brilliant gymnastic performance! & merely half of my gigantic legs :(

 

 

i have no idea why or how but qi has gone to the dark side (they probably succeeded in tempting her with some cookies). she got totally infatuated with suju zz & summore watching their mv with my iphone! *SULK :(

 

goddamn. so cute!!!!!!!!!! *melts

 

 

 

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on a totally different note:

slapping one right on the face and subsequently bring some random godlike medicine and try to apply on the ugly welt you made is BULLSHIT.

FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF.